Why is it that validation is so important to me? I think that a lot of people feel this way, but I really wonder why. In case, I am the only one that feels this way, I will speak in the first person only.
I like to say I don’t care what people think. This is because I don’t like to change for people. I march to my own drum and I am proud of that. I like that I don’t fit in with the crowd. But…I also crave validation. And once I receive it, I crave it even more. It is like a drug to me.
What has brought this to mind? Well, two things. One, when I didn’t have any friends who loved Korean dramas like I do, I didn’t really mind. Because I am often a loner at heart. But then I started making friends with all the online peeps who get the addiction, and now I want to talk to y’all all the time. Like what happened there? What happened to Miss Better Off Alone, Miss Lone Wolf? I am not saying it is a bad thing to want to have friends. But with my obsessive nature, it can be exhausting.
And the other thing that brought it to mind is that I am having a horrible day at work. And what I really want to do is post a rant online about it. So that my online friends can comfort me. Because my real life friends are no longer “good enough”. Two things that are wrong with those statements. One, never talk about your job online. Your employer or a future employer will somehow find out that you did so. And two, what is wrong with my real life friends?! Just because they don’t love all things Korean, I don’t want to rant to them any more? Ugh. This is why social media can be so dangerous.
What I should really do is just go back to journaling just for myself. Which I would totally do, but I can’t right now. I am too addicted. To the thought of other people reading my words and finding them entertaining/helpful/whatever.
So here is what is going on today: Our water wouldn’t work this morning so I am without my morning shower and it makes me really grumpy. And I keep wanting to cuss. I am against cussing!! But I really really want to say some choice words. And work, is just…imagine your worst day at work and it is a lot like that. I hate everyone I have had to talk to so far. Which really isn’t like me. I should be excused from regular society on days when I don’t get my morning shower. But alas, I only have 5 days left of work and it might look suspicious if I call in “sick”.
So yeah, that was my extremely boring rant. Sorry, not sorry?
I don’t think my blog is going to let me put this gif I made, but the sum of it is:
Other people can’t judge whether or not we’re useful human beings. Your worth is something only you can prove. Words from the K-drama Radiant Office. (Which btw is really ticking me off right now. Why are they trying to kill my Oppa in the last episode?!)